Current:Home > MarketsSignalHub-When you 'stop running from it' and know you’ve outgrown your friend group -WealthMindset Learning
SignalHub-When you 'stop running from it' and know you’ve outgrown your friend group
NovaQuant Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-08 01:39:31
Yes,SignalHub romantic relationships are great. But there's something special about long-term friendships – the giggle-worthy gossip, the inside jokes, the unmatched comfort level built on years of trust. But what happens when your friendship changes, and what once came so easy shifts into unanswered texts, missed phone calls and nary a like on social media?
The TikTok trend where people have decided to "stop running from it" refers to those who return from a social setting with friends, only to realize that they've outgrown their relationships – and perhaps avoided their own emotions along the way.
If this sounds like you, friendship experts don't want you to worry. It's normal for friendships to evolve over time. Just keep an eye out for some warning signs it might be time to hit pause on a friendship (or in some cases, say goodbye for good).
"Like any relationship, friendships are a two-way street," says Carla Marie Manly, host of podcast "Imperfect Love" and author of "The Joy of Imperfect Love." "If both people aren’t invested in making the relationship viable in the long run, the friendship will falter over time."
How to tell if your friendship is on the rocks
Sometimes outgrowing a friendship is simple: You just don't want to see them. "A major sign of outgrowing a friendship is a lack of interest in meeting up with a friend," Manly says. "This apathy can even shift over time into overt avoidance." Maybe this friend drains your energy if you're doing all the outreach, or maybe they just aren't as fun to be around anymore. Or you've discovered you have very little in common anymore.
Expect this to happen with people you've known a long time. Some people will stagnate in their lives and expect the same of their friendships. Others will grow and likely want something more.
You might even harbor a lot of feelings for someone but still not want to devote that much time to them, or you just don't have any to give. That's OK. "If you find yourself losing interest, you still care for this person, but aren't as interested in those updates, because it doesn't feel relevant to where you are, and you feel the engagement drop in that way, that could be a sign as well," says Danielle Bayard Jackson, friendship educator and author of "Fighting for our Friendships."
It could also be simple on the other end of the spectrum, where you're butting heads with your friend or sitting with that walking-on-eggshells feeling. Spoiler alert: The shells will crack.
"This is an indicator that the friendship is misaligned and you may have outgrown it," says T.M. Robinson-Mosley, counseling psychologist, "especially if you look at disagreements that devolve into personal attacks."
Girl, it's so confusing sometimes:Lorde, Charli XCX’s viral moment and the truth about friendship breakups
Just because it's over doesn't mean you failed
Judging a friendship by how long it lasted, or the fact it didn't last forever, is not necessarily the best metric to use when thinking about your friends. Is a successful friendship one that never ends? Or one where you two really loved each other during the time you were together?
Experts say friendship circles twist and turn over time, too. One study even found that we tend to replace half our friends every seven years.
"Our availability changes, the things that brought us together change. So you almost have to anticipate that happening," Jackson says.
Why might this occur? Think of it in terms of life stages. Did you meet friends in college? At work? A parenting class? Friendship changes happen frequently when people reach their mid-20s and their priorities take them in all kinds of directions – especially if and when the alcohol fog of your early 20s wears off.
In case you missed:Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and the power of (and need for) male friendship
Is your friendship worth saving?
Generally, as long as there hasn't been some kind of toxic behavior or abuse, it's not a bad idea to leave that friendship door ajar.
You may be tempted to only see a black-and-white approach to friendship via your TikTok algorithm: Someone "wronged" you and therefore you need to set a "boundary." Don't let it deter you from friendship altogether.
Why might some reach that conclusion, though? "I wonder if sometimes we want to put such a finality to it, because it gives us a sense of control," Jackson says.
But if leaving a friendship means being more yourself, it's likely worth the breakup.
veryGood! (3647)
Related
- What to watch: O Jolie night
- Mysterious mummy dubbed Stoneman Willie finally identified and buried in Pennsylvania after 128 years
- It’s now a 2-person Mississippi governor’s race, but independent’s name still appears on ballots
- I'm a Shopping Editor, and This Is What I'm Buying at Amazon's October Prime Day 2023
- Rolling Loud 2024: Lineup, how to stream the world's largest hip hop music festival
- Soccer Star Neymar Welcomes First Baby With Girlfriend Bruna Biancardi 3 Months After Cheating Rumors
- Suspects sought in Pennsylvania community center shooting that killed 1, wounded 8
- NFL Week 5 winners, losers: Mike McCarthy, Cowboys get exposed by 49ers
- Meta releases AI model to enhance Metaverse experience
- Israel vows to destroy Hamas as death toll rises from unprecedented attack; several Americans confirmed dead
Ranking
- New data highlights 'achievement gap' for students in the US
- Savannah Chrisley Details Taking on Guardianship of Her Siblings at Age 26
- Former Texas Rep. Will Hurd suspends long-shot GOP 2024 presidential bid, endorses Nikki Haley
- Publishing executive found guilty in Tokyo Olympics bribery scandal, but avoids jail time
- Grammy nominee Teddy Swims on love, growth and embracing change
- As poverty spikes, One Warm Coat, Salvation Army coat donations are more important than ever
- North Carolina Republican Rep. Kristin Baker won’t seek reelection in 2024
- Pro-Israel, pro-Palestine supporters hold demonstrations in Times Square, outside United Nations
Recommendation
Macy's says employee who allegedly hid $150 million in expenses had no major 'impact'
UAW members reject tentative contract deal with Mack Trucks, will go on strike early Monday
Louisiana public school principal apologizes after punishing student for dancing at a party
Michael Chiarello, chef and Food Network star, dies at 61 following allergic reaction: Reports
What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
1 dead, 8 injured in mass shooting at Pennsylvania community center
Meta Quest 3 review: powerful augmented reality lacks the games to back it up
Skydiver dead after landing on lawn of Florida home